July 6th, 2008 (10:55 pm)
current mood: tired
current song: Del tha Funkee Homosapien - Corner Story
I've spent an odd weekend with my family, which is always interesting. As much as I feel my extended family tries to make me feel welcome, I never do. I just feel like they make allowances for me like they would a child -- there are exceptions of course...my uncle the doctor tends to just engage me in pretty interesting conversations about books, or economics, or the state of the medical field. He doesn't ask me about what I'm doing at NASA right now, which is a relief. I'm not forced to hyper-generalize something no one outside my very limited group of peers is actually interested in.
The sad thing is, most of my family kind of looks at me strangely, even though they've been around me since I was a kid. I don't know if I've changed that much, or if the way I talk is off-putting, but they all have a tendency to drop out of conversations with me. If I'm not making them laugh, it's hard to keep them engaged. The only way I really find is winding them up on a topic and then not interrupting them during their diatribes...
Which kind of made me drink a lot this weekend. I hate to do that with all the kids around, including my nieces and one of my nephews, but at some point it becomes a necessity to insulate yourself from the palpable feeling that you don't belong with your own family. I'd do anything for them, but I always end up feeling that way at family gatherings.
That's not even mentioning the fact that since I was the last to arrive, I drew the worst draw on sleeping space, and ended up on the couch in the high traffic living room. Yeah, I got a shitload of sleep this weekend, and I should be in bed right now so I can wake up at 5 for work, but I'm not. I'm going to be paying for this for a few days.